Fate Brought Them Carmichael
by The Poisoned Quill
Summary: When Alice adopts a little boy with red hair, green eyes, and a scottish accent and her family disapproves, he runs and finds himself following a white rabbit. It's down the rabbit hole again for Alice where she's faced with a difficult decision.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Alice in Wonderland, otherwise it would have ended MUCH differently. **

**So, a couple of facts might be longed but I really, really tried to get them right. Hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

"You're mad." Lord Ascot, friend, colleague, and family, looked at her with slightly offended eyes. She didn't know what she was talking about, certainly. She didn't know the responsibility, the scandal this would bring. "After years of earning the respect of this company, of the industry even, which if I might add is particularly impossible for a woman, you want to throw it away on a hair-brained idea like this?"

"If not on this, what more is worth it?" Alice reached up to pull the pins out of her hair. In the privacy of their conjoined offices, she was allowed as much freedom as she could muster. Which was not much these days. She still didn't wear stockings or a corset, but her crisp green dress was business-like, if not boring. Her freedom ended with her clothes.

She caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror. Her face had lasted, she didn't look a day over twenty four, and for that she could be secretly proud. Margret had been wrong. She wore her hair a few centimeters above her shoulders now, though it was looked upon oddly, it was more efficient and she liked the look of it better. And yet she was still unmarried, because no man had tickled her fancy enough for her to make the decision to commit. Though several had certainly given it their best shot.

It was thirteen years to the day when she'd fallen down the rabbit hole for the second time and found out that reality had two meanings. What was, and what we choose to believe. Things had certainly changed since she came back up, but she still couldn't answer the unspoken question her reflection in the mirror had every morning as she got ready: Are you sure this was worth leaving?

But that was a thought to dwell on when she had a moment to herself. Shaking her head with a small smile, she looked at Lord Ascot who was still staring at her. "Don't think you can change my mind."

"I've known your family long enough to know better than that." Lord Ascot chuckled a little, she was enough like a daughter to him that he'd offered her a place in the house when her mother died. He knew her well enough by now to know she was just as insane and just as stubborn as Charles. That never stopped him from making the effort. "Do I at least get a chance to meet the little guy before you completely change your life?"

"I left him in the library with your grandson and granddaughter. They get along quite well." Hamish had ended up marrying Faith Chattaway, and had continued on with his boring and perfect live unscathed by her refusal. She still couldn't believe how different from their father they were, it was as if they were raised by completely different people. His children were pretty, kind, and energetic. "I'll go get him."

She walked down the hall with a smile. She'd already adopted the boy, she hadn't mentioned that to him but it was unnecessary. She hadn't wanted him to be able to talk her out of it. He didn't know it, but he had more influence over her than she cared to admit. And she didn't want him to stop her from adopting the angel.

She adopted Carmichael because she'd fallen in love with the boy and his quirks He was a bundle of personality, and she liked that about him. He was profoundly creative and quick, but sometimes you wondered where his mind had wandered off to. There was only one thing she knew of that might cause a little friction. Lord Ascot was not going to be happy about the fact that he was Scottish. She knew how intrusting he was of anybody who wasn't purely British. But she knew Lord Ascot would at least pretend to like Carmichael.

"Carmichael." She called out lightly when she entered the library, laughed when she felt someone grab at her back. She turned, ready to make some kind of witty remark, but froze as her heart swelled a little bit. He looked up at her from the chair, his greenish eyes sparkling with amusement. Red hair played boyishly around his five year old face. She'd known him less than a year and already he was more like a son than young Henry was to Faith. Not that it was that hard to do, Faith cared more about the gardens than she cared about her own children.

It had been a coincidence the way they met. He was running away from the orphanage and she'd been coming home from a year abroad. It'd been a long couple of weeks on the sea. They'd bonded for reasons she couldn't fathom the moment they met on that ship. It'd been an instant connection, and the day she was off the ship, she filed for adoption. They'd shared a fascination for riddles and things that were beyond imagination. He'd been the one person she shared her stories of Underland with. He loved hearing them, though she doubted he believed any of them. "Where are the others?"

"They're busy with their lessons." Faith spoke from the other side of the room. She certainly showed her age, lines already starting to etch into her skin. She looked annoyed, and Alice knew that it was with her. "Alice, could I have a word with you?"

"Of course." She reached out and ran her fingers through Carmichael's hair. He pretended to pull away and be embarrassed but they both knew better. She wanted to sit down and "make" him sit in her lap as they talked about nothing and everything. "Be back in a moment."

She joined Faith in the doorway. In another room, Alice could hear her children playing some kind of make believe game. So it was simply that she didn't want them around Carmichael, she should have known. "Was there something you wanted to say, Faith?"

"You won't be bringing that _thing _into my home, Alice. I won't allow it." Faith looked over at Carmichael like he might get up and start eating the furniture.  
"He's not a thing, he's a boy." Alice wanted so much to reach out and slap her, but she'd never been one to lose her temper so quickly. And she'd never, ever embarrass herself by giving into the urge to knock one of the Chattaway twins.

Fiona only looked at her like she was missing something that was as plain as day. It was the same look she'd been giving her since she came to live with them. She was one of the few people that just refused to accept that she would never fit a woman's place in society. "He's not from here and he doesn't belong around my children."

"I understand." She didn't, not at all. She would never understand how this family, how the community she'd been born into could be so anti-foreign. "You don't like people who are different from you, that's fine, but we're not leaving. We belong here same as you."

"You know that's not true." And it wasn't, Faith belonged here by marriage, but Alice was just a guest. Faith dropped her voice by only decibels. "Alice, don't you even care what people will think when they find out? You'll embarrass yourself and this household. Nobody at the school will ever accept him. You're doing him more harm than good.""

"I pity them and I pity you for not seeing how special he is." She looked at Carmichael, knew this was not the place for him. He would only find hate here. "Alright, he won't stay here. I won't allow him to."

"Thank you, Alice. You've always had a sense of decency to go along with that strong will of yours." Faith looked at her like she'd just won some war the two of them were waging against each other. Alice let her think she'd won, she had better things to do. Like packing her bags and making arrangements to find suitable housing for the two of them. Somewhere in the city possibly, where she could be close to the office and close to a nanny.

Alice turned to go to Carmichael, but he was gone. In the chair he'd been occupying was simply the book of riddles she'd given him as a welcoming present. She understood before it even registered that he wasn't in the room, he'd misunderstood. He'd overheard her and he thought she was sending him back. He'd run, because he didn't want to go back.

She grabbed the book and took off after him. She couldn't lose him now. He wasn't anywhere in the house, and her first fear was that she'd never find him. She was running now, through the gardens and vast hedges. She slipped on a wet patch of grass and went sprawling. Getting up, she ignored the grass stains on her skirt. Her second fear was that he would get hurt.

She caught a glimpse of him, called out but he didn't turn around. There was a familiar small voice, and next time she saw Carmichael, she was certain she saw a bit of white fluff. Around the next turn, she froze. She was face to face with the tree and the rabbit hole and she knew where Carmichael had gone.

McTwisp had lead him straight to Underland.


	2. Chapter 2

He landed with a thump and a thud. His orange hair was messed now, thanks to the rabbit hole, and his clothes were just a bit dingy. This place, this room filled with doors, was oddly familiar. It sounded like that story Alice had told him, about the world beneath their own. Curiously, he turned to look at the small glass table. Sure enough, there was a golden key and a potion. This was too weird, he thought as he picked up the key.

* * *

Well, there was nothing to do but try was there. So he stood real straight and took a gulp of the curious, clear liquid. Much to his surprise (Though he should have known because Alice had told him of such a potion as this), he began to shrink.

She landed hard on the cold floor, laughing. Sure it hurt, but she didn't care. It was incredible. This time was actually quite a rush. She wondered if it would have been the other couple of times if she hadn't been so scared. Now, as all of her muscles ached, she rose and looked around. The small door was already open, the potion was sitting on the floor next to Carmichael's pants and jacket. She wondered if he was running around in his shirt and belt.

It didn't take her very long to shrink now that she had a general idea of what to do and in what order to do it, but she'd failed to account for the material of her dress. She would not be able to rip a makeshift dress out of the thick and heavy fabric. But suddenly she remembered that she had something that might make do and dug in the pockets of her seemingly massive pockets. She'd been meaning to give Sarah back the lavender doll's dress she'd left in her room, but in the rush of things she'd forgotten. The medieval dress fit her very well, the large buttons in the back were easy to fasten and left no gaps for her to worry about. The long skirt was of a comfortable material, probably whatever happened to be the left over material from the seamstress, and she had to give credit to the girl's sewing skills.

Remembering why she was here in the first place, she went through the small open door. The garden path was the same as she remembered, the flowers stared at her with curiosity. She remembered talking to them as a little girl, since she'd found out it hadn't been a dream a lot of her memories had been coming back to her.

Someone cleared their throat behind her. He said something to himself and she tried not to smile, she'd missed all the creatures of Underland, but she had other things to think about. And she was willing to lay a little blame on him. Impatient and worried, Alice turned to glare at McTwisp, who stood as tall as he could against the withering gaze. "You brought him down here."

"I did no such thing." McTwisp's nose twitched irritably. He'd been having a rather strange day was it was, he didn't need her false blame on top of his own problems. "I've only ever brought one person intentionally down here, and that was you. I was busy on an errand for the queen and if a human followed me, it's hardly my problem. A concept nobody around here ever seems to grasp. Always blaming me for the unwelcome disturbance of another guest. Not that _your_ unwelcome, of course. But we do get a few rather unpleasant types from time to time falling down the rabbit hole."

Alice took a deep breath, started over because arguing with Underland creatures would get her no where. "Did you see where the little boy went?"

"What little boy?" He asked her. Oh, McTwisp didn't seem like he was going to be much help at all, but he was all she had.

"The little boy that followed you down. Did you see which way he went?" She only had so much patience at the moment, she just wanted to find Carmichael.

McTwisp thought about it for a second, pointed in the general direction of one of the garden paths. "Off that way somewhere. He was with Chessure last time I seen him."

Alice shoved down the horrible sensation that rose up and threatened to choke her. Surely Chessure would know better than to lead Carmichael into danger, then again, maybe not. Everything in Underland was a danger and Chessure wasn't exactly the most careful creature she'd met. Though he certainly took extra care when it counted. Would this count for him? He hadn't been very careful when _she _was a little girl, and it seemed nothing in Underland ever changed. And standing here worrying was exactly the wrong thing to do.

"I hate to ask, but you don't happen to have any Upelkuchen, do you?" She asked politely, it would be a nightmare to cover a large distance at this size.

"I've started carrying some, just as a precaution." He pulled some out of his pocket. "Just don't eat too much."

She took the smallest of bites, her dress stretched and she could feel it rip as she grew. Standing there, she was as exposed as she had been at the queen's court. "Oh, dear." Nivens looked around hopelessly.

"I have a thin white dress that I was wearing under the heavy green one. It's in the round room if you would be kind enough to get it for me." She'd go get it herself, but now she wouldn't fit through the door. He left and came back a couple minutes later with it bundled up in his arms. She thanked him for it and dragged it over her head. She'd evidently eaten just the right amount of Upelkuchen because the undergown fit her like it should.

Knowing she'd wasted enough time already, she told the white rabbit farewell and gave his paw a gentle little shake (for he'd offered it as if it'd been a proper hand and she found no reason to be rude). As she went down the path, how was she supposed to know how wrong McTwisp had been? Or where exactly the path would lead her?

The path was dark and rather cold. Unlike the green of the leaves on the trees around the garden, most of the trees had autumn leaves. Reds, oranges, and yellows lined the path that was scattered with brown crumpled leaves from feet. The walk would have been wonderfully relaxing if she wasn't so worried and if she had the right walking companion. A couple of people came to mind, she tried not to dwell on how fast the Hatter had surfaced in her thoughts, seconded by Carmichael, and followed by the White Queen. What did it mean if a man, a special man indeed, was the first person you thought of when you went on a leisurely walk? She had no answer.

She stopped three or four times as the dim light disappeared in what she could only imagine was night fall to rest along the side of the road. Then the next morning, she'd get up and walk again. Each day the worry got worse.

It was along the path, and with that question tumbling in her mind for most of the time, that she found herself at a fork in the road. Did she go left or did she go right? And if she did go to the left, or to the right, how was she supposed to know that that was the way Carmichael had gone? If only there was a way she could know, instead of being at an impasse.

Confused, she sat down on an old broken log that seemed like a bench stretched along the side of the road to try and figure out what she should do. With no signs and no people, it was impossible for her to make a well informed decision. If there was ever a time she wished someone could have given her a map of Underland (she'd wished this many times in what she decided to deem the Aboveland so that she might get an idea of where exactly all the places she'd been were or how far she'd traveled), this was it.

"So now what?" She sat there looking at her hands. "Do I sit and wait, or do I keep going until I find either what I'm looking for or something I'm not? If I go and he's not there, at least I'll know for a fact where he's not, and that's a step closer to knowing where he is. Oh, this place is clouding my brain." Though that last statement she knew to be a lie, she'd tied her thoughts into a nice knot and was thoroughly confused, but this place had no fault in that.

It was just then that Mallymkun hopped up onto the log beside her. Alice jumped when she spoke. "Alice!" She yelled cheerfully, bouncing from one leg to the other. Alice considered just boxing the dormouse's ears, but it wasn't really her fault she'd interrupted what could be considered a pity party.

Instead, she turned to the dormouse with as much of a smile as she could muster. "It's lovely to see you, Mallymkun."

"What has you coming around here again?" Mallymkun had always been the curiously nosy one.

"I'm looking for someone." Then she remembered that Mallymkun was all over the place all the time, if anybody knew the location of everybody, it'd be her. She turned suddenly to face Mallymkun, now was her turn to accidentally startle her. "A boy, red hair, green eyes, pale skin. Have you seen him?"

"Ay. The Hatter's that way, though I wouldn't be callin' him a boy. Then again, what might be a man for me might be a boy for you. And I certainly wouldn't see him the way you might see a man. I do know the difference between a man and a mouse, you know." Mallymkun had drawn her sword, swinging it in the direction of which she spoke.

"No..." Alice hadn't considered that the Hatter had red hair or green eyes. They had so many similar features now that she thought about it. They're personalities were scarily similar too. But of course she was being ridiculous, wasn't she."A young boy, about eight or nine, he goes by the name of Carmichael. He'd probably be wandering around in nothing but a shirt and belt."

"Nope, haven't seen him." She jumped down off the bench. "If I see him I'll tell him you're looking for him." This, of course, would have been the proper thing to do. And exactly the wrong thing to do if Carmichael had run to get away from her.

"No." Alice shook her head quickly. "I doubt he'd be very happy to know that. But if you see him, can you send word?"

"Of course, Milady." Without asking for explanation, not due to manners but simply because it didn't even register that it was an odd request, Mallymkun gave her an exaggerated bow before skittering off in the opposite direction. Probably late for tea, Alice knew, and she had a feeling Mallymkun would get some kind of non-serious reprimand from the Hatter because of it.

And as she sat there, she realize Mallymkun hadn't given her anything worth anything. She still didn't know where she should go and all she could do now was wait and hope for two things. One, that Mallymkun would see him, two, that she would remember to send word if she did. Or she could take a chance and hope she managed to get lucky. After all, sitting there wasn't doing anything but letting him get further away if he was still traveling. Deciding that something was better than nothing, Alice got up and started down the left.

The walk was rather boring, the trees looked more and more dead until there were few trees all together. The sky where she was walking was an odd orange color. Some how, she didn't think she was going to find Carmichael there.

When she heard a rustling in the bushed beside her, she walked a little faster. The rustling stopped and she was going to break out into a run. But just as she braced herself to take off she heard a man say, "Oh, thank God. Do you think you can help me, miss? I'd rather not be stuck like this for another minute."

That voice, oh, that voice sent chills through her skin, threatened to drop her to her knees. It'd haunted some of her less pleasant dreams and caused her to break out in a cold sweat while she slept. It was a terribly smooth voice attached to a scarred face and one good eye. She was on the outskirts then, where he'd been sent with his lover. Well, they would not scare her, she decided as she turned to look at Stayne and his companion.

The Bloody Big Head grimaced when she saw her, narrowed her eyes. "Hello, Um."


	3. Chapter 3

_The Bloody Big Head grimaced when she saw her, narrowed her eyes. "Hello, Um."_

Alice gave a small wave without a word. If she remembered correctly, nobody was to speak to the chained couple. And the last thing Alice was going to do was go against the White Queen.

"Please," Stayne looked at her with hope in his eyes, she had a feeling he'd beg. He tried to stumble toward her, but the queen wouldn't move any closer to her. "Undo these chains, you'd be doing me the favor of a lifetime."

Alice shook her head, she turned to walk on. There had to be another path that would lead her to the center of Underland. Or at least she could hope for one. "Please, please." He yelled behind her, practically in tears. "I'm not the same man I once was. Please, either set me free or kill me!"

"Wait." The Red Queen called to her. "You're looking for that little Scottish boy, aren't you." Alice said nothing, but gave her a look. "If you promise me something, I'll tell you what I know." Alice tilted her head a little. "But of course, it can't be just any promise. It has to be a blood promise." Alice wasn't interested, but she continued to listen anyway. "All I want is for you to influence my sister to release me." She lowered her voice. "It'll be easy. After all, you're the savior of all Underland."

Alice knew the queen had something up her sleeve, but if she knew anything about Carmichael, wasn't it worth it? No, it wasn't. She'd find Carmichael without help and without making an awful deal with the bloody big head. She had to, because making a deal against Mirana would be like betraying a friend. She would_ never_ betray a friend.

The red queen must have seen the answer in her eyes because she stood as tall as she could managed and said, "Fine, have it you're way. You're just like that prude who run things, always think your better than me. Well, just watch, the boy will die and it'll be your fault."

Alice didn't look at her, but just turned and walked onward. She really wanted to reach Carmichael before another night ended.

It was too unreal, the moment she continued to walk was the moment she saw the path that cut directly into the forest. But what was she thinking, of course there was. This was, as she'd reminded herself before, Underland.

The path lead right to the White Castle and it was shockingly short, she felt a little self-conscious about crossing the huge, stony courtyard. There was nobody about and the sky was getting dark. It'd been a whole day, well, most of one. But the quiet didn't last for long. Around the corner there was laughing and voices. The clanking of dishware brought both the need to see her old friends, and another need to turn around and walk away, look for Carmichael like she should be instead of stopping for a social visit, when she heard the boy's laugh.

She looked around the corner and saw him at her spot at the tea table. Someone, probably Mirana (who was sitting opposite of Tarrant), had given him something decent to wear and he looked happy as he talked with those around the table. Tarrant leaned over and said something to him and if she hadn't known any better she'd have thought they were father and son. She didn't have the heart to pull him away, so she prepared to wait until they were done. a warm feeling and dread to her hear.

Her friends were right there and she wanted nothing more to see all of them. But at what cost? Once she found Carmichael she had to take him back to the world he belonged to. She couldn't do that again, she couldn't go through that. And she'd probably hurt them in the process, she couldn't put them in that situation again. She was about to turn around and walk away, wait for the tea party to break up.

However, it seemed Mirana had other plans. She turned and looked at her with a welcoming smile. Alice wondered how she'd known she was there. She shook her head, but Mirana turned to look at Carmichael. "I think there's somebody waiting for you around the corner, if you think you can spare a moment from your tea.

Carmichael looked a little unsure but he got up anyway and walked around the table. He saw her before he turned the corner and just as she thought he would turn around and go back to his tea, he broke into a sprint. The moment his small arms locked around her neck, she lifted him up, holding the boy to her as if he'd disappear if she let go. "Alice." He bounced when she finally put him down, a huge grin on his face. "It's all real, everything you told me is real. You'll never believe everything that happened, I mean, I hardly believe it. Is it true? Everything they say about you? Did you really slay the Jabberwocky and defeat the Red Queen? Did you really ride a Bandersnatch and all that? Did you..."

"Carmichael." She said shortly then laughed when she stopped to look at her, confused. "Yes, I most likely did everything they told you." And hopefully they spared him some of the details.

"We're having tea." He took her hand and started dragging her toward the table. She didn't know why, but the prospect scared her more than it should.

Then she knew. Tarrant's eyes locked on hers and she swore they darkened. She felt anticipation play with her nerves and everything seemed to stop. She suddenly knew why she was so afraid to go to the tea party. She was in love with him. And having that knowledge made it all the more difficult to to come to terms with leaving again.

But she was just being stupid. He couldn't possibly love her like she loved him. So she didn't have to worry about him begging and adding weight to the decision. So she straightened and did her best to smile at everyone. "Hello."

There was a round of hellos, but Tarrant said nothing. In fact, he just sat there, staring at her. Carmichael didn't seem to notice as he pulled Alice around to the chair he'd been sitting in, right next to Tarrant. She couldn't disappoint him, not with the look in his eyes, so she sat and pulled him onto her lap. He looked at her with a crooked grin and she knew she could deal with the uncomfortable sensation of being so close to someone who wouldn't stop staring at her if it would make Carmichael happy. "You scared me, child."

He leaned back against her slightly. "I was going to come back, I really was."

"I believe you." She reached up to ruffle his hair slightly. On a whim, she turned and met Tarrant's stare. "Hello, Hatter. It's nice to see you again."

"Yes." He straightened now, as the start of a conversation meant the entire table had turned to look at them, faked a smile. "We are lucky to have our champion back with us once again. Your boy, he's very good with riddles. Though he hasn't been able to answer mine yet."

"Right, how is a raven like a writing desk? I remember." She looked away quickly before the hurt could show in her eyes, secretly congratulated herself for hiding the discomfort by making light of his comment. She'd known he didn't love her, she wasn't stupid. But she'd at least assumed they were still friends. Did he only see her as the champion of Underland? Did he not remember that moment on the balcony, or the way he'd asked her to stay? The way he'd leaned in like he was going to kiss her and said "Fairfarren, Alice."? Obviously not, those things didn't seem to mean anything at all anymore. Because there were still eyes on her, she looked at Mallymkun with a smile.

The dormouse stood confused before she realized what she'd forgotten. "Oh, Alice, I found him."

"Yes, I can see as much." Alice's smile grew a little bit bigger as Carmichael wriggled a little on her lap. He had adjusted himself to face her better. "Yes, dear?"

"You never told me that Hatter sounds like me when he gets mad." Carmichael would find this strange, she realized. But there were a lot of things she hadn't told him. Still, at the mention of his name, Tarrant was staring at her again like she'd shocked him with some kind of spark and she was forced to drop her gaze.

"There were a lot of things I didn't tell you." She told him finally. He didn't ask anything more, but rested his head on her shoulder and started mumbling something about the rabbit hole. It surprised her that she'd never realized that the more tired he was, the thicker his brogue became. Before she knew it, he was asleep and she was stuck in the awkward silence that hovered over the tea table.

Mirana was the first to speak, her eyes filled with a sympathy Alice couldn't understand. "I'd be honored if you would accept a room in the castle for as long as you stay here."

"I'd appreciate that." She moved to wake him as she certainly couldn't carry him like this when Tarrant grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"Don't wake him." There was an edge in his voice that confused her, but then something in him softened as he looked at the boy. "I'll carry him."

She just nodded when he rose, took him carefully from her arms. When the back of his hand brushed against her neck, she stiffened but he didn't say anything about it as she rose and followed both him and Mirana.

It seemed like forever that they were walking in silence. Somehow, she got the feeling she was in some sort of trouble. When Hatter told her _he _was going to just go ahead and get him into bed, she found herself getting irritated. When he shut the door behind him and essentially closed her off from Carmichael, she was seething. Mirana said nothing, but when Tarrant came back out, she bowed her head and walked away.

"If you'll excuse me." Alice tried to push past Tarrant but he stopped her, there was that dangerous edge again.

"He's sleeping." He warned her threateningly. His own brogue had set in and she watched his eyes change quickly.

"Say whatever needs to be said so I can be in there with him." Alice's teeth clenched.

"Very well," He was geared up for a fight, and she wouldn't mind one either. "You've always been a bit careless, but I wasn't aware you could be cruel."

"I've never been careless." She stepped away from him as if he'd shocked her. "And certainly never cruel."

"You promised him things and took them away. You are going to send him back to his orphanage where he'd be forced to remember the woman who looked like she cared about him. You..." He was going to continue, and she knew the next thing he said would hurt them both.

"Hatter." She snapped.

"...I'm fine." He gasped, but she knew he wouldn't be thanking her, not while there was this tension hanging between them.

She felt her anger draining, remembered how much of a friend he was to her, even if she meant absolutely nothing to him. And she remembered that he was not always in his right mind. "Hatter, I know he's upset with me, or at least he was. But I'd never, for even a moment, do anything to make him think I love him less than I do."

He frowned slightly, they were standing awfully close. Now that he wasn't quite so angry, he could feel the heat she generated just by her presence. "You said you wouldn't let him stay with you."

"No." She folded her hands together to resist touching his face like she really wanted to. She wanted to smooth away the confusion there and what seemed to be a deep sadness. "I said that I wouldn't allow him to stay in the house." She shook her head before he could say anything. "I didn't know he was listening, or I would have worded it a bit better. But I was just so angry with the woman that I was trying to get her to shut up" The edge was in _her_ voice now, causing him to blink in surprise. " But never, _never_ say I don't want him."

He looked at her with pride as he recognized the muchness she possessed. It bothered him to think she might not have it. That would have ruined everything. "Then what did you mean, love?"

She winced at the term "love", understanding that the term of endearment was nothing more than the revitalizing of an easy friendship. Inside, it made her heart hurt. But she'd never guilt him with that. "I wasn't going to let him stay in that house with people who would make him feel small and worthless. I wouldn't do that to him. I was going to find a house in the city, I have enough money. I was going to take him and we were going to live happily, just the two of us." She realized at that moment that she was talking in past tense. And seeing as she doubted Carmichael would want to stay there, it was best not to put ideas in Tarrant's head. Goodness knew, he did well enough with that on his own. "I still am."

He was curious now, an idea already tumbling around in his head. " And how do you expect to raise a child by your lonesome?"

"I'll fare just fine. I have a job, which will keep food on the table. Lord Ascot can get him into a decent school well enough, if I ask kindly enough. Though public school would do just as well. We'll manage. I'll do what I have to to make him happy, he deserves to be happy." She hadn't realized how much of a depressing lifestyle that seemed like now, not that she'd consider giving it up for a moment.

"Dear, Alice." Tarrant stepped ever closer, this time there was a look in his eyes that she did not recognize. It was one that shot heat straight to her very core as he touched his fingertips to her face as if she might break. All she knew was that no man had ever looked at her with as much... was that longing? "Do you not deserve the same kind of happiness?"

"I don't. Nobody who gives up everything they want should end up happy. That's the balance of things, Hatter." She stepped away now, opened the doors to the room she was sharing with Carmichael. "Goodnight, I will most likely see you in the morning."

"Most definitely." He smiled, though she was already gone. And he set of f to discuss plans involving a friendly but distant blonde with patient eyes and a big heart with Mirana. Now that she was here, there was no way she'd be walking out of his life again.


	4. Chapter 4

Carmichael woke up next to a warm body. He flopped over, as saw Alice watching him. He didn't mind so much that they were sharing a bed, he trusted her. But there was a look in her eyes, a kind of deep regret that made him uneasy. "What?"

"You know I'd never walk away from you." This wasn't a question, but it wasn't a statement either. He wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"I know." he looked at her with his green eyes watering. "I didn't mean to run away, honest. I don't know what came over me. I'm not in trouble, am I?" And Alice understood the fear, she'd had a nanny once who beat her when she was bad, and he'd told her once about the women who ran his orphanage. When they got in trouble, they were beaten with whatever they could find. But Alice swore never to raise her hand to him. Especially over something as ridiculous as this.

"Carmichael." She didn't laugh, though she wanted to. Instead, she reached out and poked him in the stomach, causing him to giggle girlishly. "You don't think I've ever run away? We all do it, just some of us run further than others. For example, I ran all the way to china. Besides, how do you think I ended up here? Twice, I might add."

The question went unanswered, like she'd assumed it would. So she continued on. "This is going to make you uncomfortable, but I don't care. All this time I've been looking for you, the fear of losing you made me realize that I love you. And no matter how much you beg, oh and I'm sure one day you _will _beg for me to let go, it's not ever going to happen."

"It doesn't make me uncomfortable." He crawled over and snuggled sleepily against her. There was a warm feeling in his chest that he'd only felt since the day he met her on the boat. He had woken up in the middle of the night like he had countless nights before, but this time he didn't wake up sad and cold. She was there, and he could go back to sleep knowing she'd be there in the morning when he woke up.

She looked at him with a smile, her child. What a jolt that was. She'd basically scratched off the idea of children on her thirtieth birthday, as she wasn't married and at that point didn't even have any offers to court. But now they were here, together.

Her own mother had never told her she loved her, but she'd known it. With Carmichael, she'd spend forever telling him that. Making sure he knew that there was someone who was there for him. But that wouldn't fill the gap that would always be there in their small family. A child needed a father, which was something she couldn't offer him. She'd give him what she could, a home and a mother, and hope it's enough.

Pulling the blankets over the two of them, she drifted off as well.

When daylight came there was a knock on her door. She got up, the light fabric of her dress was sheer and while she may not have noticed the night before, she certainly noticed now. Still, with nothing else to wear, it would be rude to not answer the door. So she answered the door with a smile. "Hello, Hatter."

"Good morning." His own beaming smile was like looking at sunlight, happy and peaceful. Obviously whatever had been bothering him last night was gone. "Mirana wanted me to bring you this." He handed her the dress he'd been holding. "And I was wondering if you'd care for a walk in the gardens. Between friends, of course." He added, fearing she'd say no.

"But Carmichael..." She couldn't just leave him there.

"Ah, Mirana's dying to get her hands on him. She just loves children. Especially, it seems, yours." His smile grew into a grin, pleased to already have everything thought out. "Well?"

"Alright." She looked back at the sleeping boy. "I'll just be a minute. Would you care to come in?"

"Well, I... uh...would love to... but I can't." She was going to be dressing, it wouldn't be right. He was torn between decency and desire, it was an odd place to be.

"Relax, Hatter." She laughed, left the door open as she walked around the dressing screen. "That's what this is for."

"Oh, right." Not that that made anything better, he could see her shadow as she stripped off her nightgown. No, this wasn't helping at all. But he wandered in to sit on the edge of the bed next to the boy. As if he could feel his gaze, Carmichael opened his eyes. "Hello, lad."

"Hello, Hatter." He sat up quickly, goofy smiles reflected each other. "Are we going to have tea today."

"Well, of course we are." Tarrant fisted his hands on his hips playfully. "Why wouldn't we have tea?" His brow furrowed for a moment. "You like tea, don't you?"

"Alice and I go to a tea shop every day before we go to the park." Carmichael smiled fondly at the screen, thinking of the days before the adoption went through when he was staying at a local orphanage and she'd take him out every day, never once showing up with an ounce of sadness. "She says that being surrounded by the sounds and smells of people drinking tea makes her feel less lonely."

"Carmichael!" Alice looked around the screen in shock. She could feel her face getting redder and redder as Tarrant gave her the same look he'd given her the night before. Quickly, she went back to dressing.

Tarrant had given a lot of thought to how he'd do this, and he decided to start with the boy first. Whatever Carmichael chose would influence what Alice's choice would be. He dropped his voice, not wanting Alice to hear him, fearing she'd stop Carmichael from answering. "If I told you I wanted you to stay, what would you say?"

"Is Alice invited too?" Carmichael wouldn't stay without Alice.

"Of course she is," Tarrant decided to lay it all down, the boy deserved to know what was what. "I've spent a lot of time waiting for Alice to return to us. I don't want her to leave again. You see, I love her and I'm going to ask her to marry me. If she says yes, then I'd be honored if you would become part of my family as well. That is, would you be alright with it?"

"Would you, like, be my dad?" Carmichael looked at him with hope in his eyes.

"Something like that." Tarrant wasn't expecting him to take to it so well that the boy would lock his arms around Tarrant's neck, but in the same amount of time it'd taken to fall in love with with Alice. If he remembered correctly, it was two days, but that might not have been accurate. He didn't know, didn't care. Anyway, in the same amount of time he'd managed to grow incredibly fond of the boy.

"Alright." Alice came around the screen to see Carmichael embracing Tarrant. She didn't know why, but tears sprung to her eyes. She wiped them away just as they separated and Tarrant's eyes met hers. She smiled a little and knew that she was lost, her heart was his. But he didn't think that way about her, she reminded herself, she was no more than a friend to him.

Tarrant rose, looked at her with a secret smile. Whatever they were talking about, she knew she would be finding out when they were ready, from one of them.

The gardens were beautiful, they spent the first five minutes walking in silence before Tarrant said, "Did you do all the things you had to do when you left?"

"I told a man I wouldn't marry him, went to china, became a partner in a firm, and live in a mansion where I'm driven insane by a woman who could rival Tweedledee." She laughed at this before looking at him curiously. "Why are you so interested?"

"I just want to know if you got everything you wanted when you left." He looked straight ahead, stopped himself before he could say anything out of frustration over the past.

"You talk like I never intend to come back." She saw the quick flash of guilt in his eyes. "I told you I was coming back, and I did mean to."

"Well," He took her hand in his casually as they walked. "You're back now."

"I'm not staying." She didn't pull her hand away, but spoke with the honesty she naturally possessed."I wanted to when I was leaving. I wanted to when I got on a boat after my time abroad. I was going to retire from the firm and I was going to say my goodbyes, then I was going to come back. But Carmichael needs me more than I need this place"

"He likes it here, you know." He stopped, they were in a dark, shaded corner of the garden he'd been aiming for.

"I know that." She didn't want to have to explain why she couldn't stay, even if Carmichael would want to. "Trust me, it'll be better for everyone if we don't stay."

"Why are you so bloody impatient to leave?" He whirled when she started to walk away, his brogue coming back thick and quick. Next thing she knew, she was pinned against the wall. "You come back here, looking, talking, and smelling the way you do, and you expect me to let you walk back out again? I love you but you can only push a man so far. You're not goin' nowhere, lassie."

She'd been prepared, even expecting some kind of anger, but not the passion. When his lips crashed down on hers, she had no choice but to surrender everything to him. Or did she?

Her hands entwined in his hair, pulled him closer against her. Meeting him head on, heat for heat, frustration for frustration. She forced him to take as well as give. When his hands left the wall to trace and memorize the lines of her face, she trembled and her knees turned to pudding. Every thought she'd been trying to form dissipated.

Tarrant pulled away, misreading her reaction to him. "I... I'm sorry. Did I frighten you?"

"No." She braced herself against the wall, her head was spinning as it cleared. "You could never frighten me, Hatter.

"Oh, I doubt that." he laughed. "in fact, I intend to try right now."

"What do you mean?" He loved her, she was till trying to wrap her head around that, he told her he loved her and Tarrant wasn't one to lie about such things.

He took both of her hands this time, faced her. His eyes were that same dark shade of green that they'd been earlier and the night before. It was a color that she was becoming so enamored with. His eyes never leaving hers, he brought both hands up and kissed her knuckles. "I have to ask you for something, and I want you to think before you answer. I know how awful you are with decisions." For example, he thought to himself, the way she'd run when faced with becoming the champion.

"Alright." She had been wrong, this gentle, sweet Tarrant terrified her. She loved him with everything she had, and that gave him an advantage. He could ask for an eye or a liver and she'd give it to him without question. "Ask."


	5. Chapter 5

_He could have asked her for an eye or a liver and she'd give it to him. "Ask."_

He got down on one knee, however cheesy it seemed, he wanted to get this right. "Marry me. Let me love you and Carmichael. When it comes to a career, I would never stop you from having one if that is what you desire. There are as many options here as there is up there. We can get a house or stay here at the castle, or anything else you would prefer. I don't care as long as I'm with you." He looked as if he was trying to think of something, another point to convince her, a woman in her position would need the practicalities as well as the romance. He couldn't think of any. "Just please, all that I ask for is a chance."

So it was her heart he chose to ask for. And it was the one thing she couldn't give him. It was horrible, the one time she wanted to say yes, she knew she couldn't. She pulled her hands away and prayed he'd forgive her in time. "Hatter, you don't know how badly I want to say yes, but I can't."

He knelt there in shock, confused and hurt. She didn't want him to feel that way, not when she could easily save him the pain and give him the answer he wanted. But it wouldn't be the right thing to do. There were steps she had to take before she could answer his question and see where it took them. She had to make him see that.

He ducked his head, stared at his hands. She wanted so badly to tell him yes and that she loved him. But she couldn't, not before talking to Carmichael. So she knelt down in front of him, waited until his eyes met hers. She hated seeing what she saw there, he looked broken and fragile. There was moisture in his eyes that he was fighting back. That she could bring tears to a man like Tarrant humbled her and nearly broke what was left of her resolve.

She cupped his cheek, ignored the wince there. He needed to hear her before he shut her out completely, which of course was what he would do. He'd done it before, when she was masquerading as Um in the Red Queen's court. While they were in the throne room together it was the only way he would have kept his composure. He'd looked at her and there was a look in his eyes of indifference, and she understood, what had to be done was done. But she didn't want him to shut her out yet, not before he knew. "That doesn't mean no. It means I have to ask Carmichael. I can't do anything without making sure what he thinks about all of this. _He's_ my life now, and his happiness and well being comes first. So please, just let me talk to him about all of this."

"Well, if that's all." The change in his mood happened in seconds as he nodded in the direction of the path, she watched him in some kind of awe. His shoulders straightened and she could see his demeanor snap into place, it was incredible how he could just snap back like that. She would still worry, but at least the fact that he didn't _look_ wounded would help. When she heard footsteps, she followed the direction of his gaze.

Mirana and Carmichael stepped out from around the corner, a funny coincidence or a set up? Mirana gave her a sad smile that she didn't understand and rested a hand on Carmichael's shoulder. Alice and Carmichael exchanged looks. A grin spread on his youthful face as he nodded. And she knew she'd been set up. This was what the boys had been whispering about. And when Carmichael's gaze left hers to look at Tarrant, she knew there was no turning back. They already understood and loved each other. People moved fast in Underland, lifetime relationships were formed quick and strong. After only just six days with Carmichael and four with Alice (not including when she was a little girl) He'd asked for her heart, and he seemed prepared to take Carmichael as his own as easily as if he was his own son.

Then finally, Tarrant and Alice looked at each other again and everything she'd been blind to was staring her right in the face. He was here, he'd always been here, and he loved her. She loved him, more than she could ever explain. And they both loved Carmichael. She didn't know what she was waiting for, she knew the answer now, maybe she'd always known it.

"Alice." Tarrant brought her into his arms. On their knees, he was only an inch taller than her. His grip encircling her waist and she smiled at him, there was nothing more perfect than how she felt right here right now. "Can you answer my question now?"

"I love you, Tarrant." She kissed him, a chaste and loving kiss. His grip tightened on her and she'd have let the kiss go deeper if Carmichael wasn't still watching. But because he was, she pulled back to look at him. "Of course I'll marry you."

"Good." He pulled her up onto her feet. When she looked down, she had grass stains on her knees, but she couldn't care. He was grinning when she looked at him again, that same grin he was wearing outside her bedroom door. "Now, how about we have tea."

She placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. After the ups and downs of this morning, she could use a cup of tea. "What a crazy, wonderful idea."


	6. Epilogue

**Okay, slightly random epilogue but I felt i needed to wrap this up. Hope you enjoyed this.**

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She was sitting alone on a stone bench, enjoying the sun on her face. A little bit away, she could hear Carmichael, now fourteen, playing some kind of odd game with Mirana's daughter of five years. He loved that little girl as if she was a sister to him, and this was common place. Still, she had to wonder what he would think about a real sibling.

When he turned and their eyes met again, she saw the same acceptance that had been there when Tarrant asked for her hand. Oh, what an interesting six years it had been.

That's when she saw him coming, his hands suspiciously tucked away behind his back. She knew he would be cautious in what he said to her after this morning. She felt so bad about getting angry with him over something so small, but she couldn't take it back. At least he wouldn't leave his hat in the planter by accident again.

She made room for him on the bench as he held out what seemed to be a dozen bright blue flowers. "They're beautiful, Tarrant." She held them carefully, laughed when the burst into what really was a few dozen butterflies. "However did you get them to sit so still?"

"It was the King's idea." He admitted, watched Carmichael throw Izabele into the air. "They're very happy, you know, it's almost as if nothing ever happened."

About three months after Alice and Tarrant had gotten married in the same area of the gardens where he'd proposed, Mirana had gotten a rather odd message and had taken off for a week, scaring everyone. When she came back, she came back with a man seeking redemption and forgiveness. Ha, she didn't blame him. Eleven years in the desert-like outlands with the Red Queen? She'd have gotten on her knees and begged day and night until someone listened. But he'd really meant it. He was a changed man, and it turned out Mirana's heart was much too soft to let him continue to be punished after he'd learned his lesson. A couple weeks later, he'd begun courting her. Three months and they were wed. Since he'd shown up, Ilosovic Stayne had never uttered a single bad comment or forgotten to find some way to show his wife how he felt about her. So Alice was fine with him, burying the hatchet for the happiness of everyone. Tarrant had taken a little more convincing, but soon he too was charmed by the quiet peace the once cruel man possessed.

"Yes, they're good together." She smiled, leaned against his shoulder. "I'm sorry about this morning."

"Ah," He patted her hand before kissing the top of her head, so that was what was truly was on her mind. "We're good together too, love."

She nodded, wondered how he would react. Then took a deep breath and said it. "I can't promise it's not going to happen again, I wasn't completely be myself and I have a feeling we're going to be in at least a few more little spats before ."

"You can't _not_ be yourself, Alice." He looked at her in confusion. "I mean, of course you could pretend to be. You were Um for a day and nobody questioned it. But you can't honestly be a different person. It's not possible, not probable, not likely, impossible..."

"Hatter!"

"... I'm fine." He managed.

"Hatter, I just meant that I was feeling a bit strange and it made me uneasy." She bit the bullet, so to speak, and just said it. "I went to the doctor today, and I was trying to figure out how best to tell you. I've been trying to figure it out all day."

"You didn't go to work today?" He hated to think she was sick, but when she shook her head he pressed his lips to her forehead. An unobtrusive way of seeing if she had a fever. She didn't. "What did the doctor say?"

"I'm pregnant." She watched his face for a reaction. "We're having a baby."

He jumped up, pulling her with him as he swung her around and made her far too dizzy for her own good. "You need to put me down, Hatter. I understand the need to dance and be joyful, but please, dance with yourself for a little while while my head stops spinning."

"Ha, not likely." He grinned, scooped her up and began carrying her off. "You're going to bed and I am too."

She didn't say anything, just rested her head on his shoulder and did her best not to throw up. She doubted he wanted to... no, he'd lay with her until she felt better because that was the kind of person he was.

Izabele was staring at the couple, secretly wondering if she'd have that one day. He was like a prince, but better because he was funny too. "Your parents are weird." She lied.

He grinned, grabbed her to hold her upside down. Her long white braided pigtails brushed the ground as she gazed up at him with her father's eyes. It was an interesting and exotic combination that added a state of curiosity to her. He would protect her when it came to the boys who would harass her in the future, but for now he would do some harassing himself. "So are yours."

"Uh uh." She wrinkled her nose when he started swinging her back and forth like a pendulum.

"Uh huh." He laughed.

"Uh uh." She crossed her arms. "Now, put me down."

"Uh uh." He said in "her voice."

And they laughed together as he looked up and saw his dad in the window of their quarters. With one hand he waved, causing Izabele to shriek with giggles. Tarrant waved back and watched his son play below as his wife slept on the bed a few feet. This, this kind of happiness is what they'd fought for. He couldn't imagine his life any other way. He didn't want to. He saw now that if Alice hadn't left, if neither of them had been forced to be alone for eleven years, Carmichael wouldn't have been a part of their lives. So he figured fate had been right, in the long run, though he'd never allow fate to separate any of them ever again. Ever.

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**A/N: Don't hate about the Stayne/Mirana thing. I couldn't think of anybody else for the position and if you think about it, eleven years in the outlands with not a word from anyone, chained to the red queen? that would change anyone. Hope you liked it. R&R please**


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